A client of mine, an amazing speaker and radio show host, comes to me for respiratory issues. One of the treatments I offer is very effective and deeply relaxing and admitted her lungs felt much better yet she enjoyed the relaxation. As an activist she is managing all different types of stress at work that she was afraid the stress would activate the respitory issue. At that time, the treatment was the only thing that helped her relax.
Well i don’t know about you, but I am not the type of healer that likes my clients to become dependent on me. I love to see them grow and flourish in their lives with my assistance from time to time.
I asked her, what seemed to be the cause of her stress. She responded that it was just the multitude of responsibility that sits on her shoulders, however none of them she’d be willing to let go because they are all part of her lifes work. How many can of you can relate?
We have been fed an image of successful people burning the midnight oil, clawing their way to the top. Yet so many people who have made it to the top of thier acheivement mountain still cannot find a way to calmly collect themsleves and enjoy their success.
I asked her if she believed success has to equal stress.
She contemplated before answering with uncertainty. It was then obvious to her, that she was causing some of her own stress in her thinking or dwelling upon it.
What was her remedy? A simple affirmation to change her mental contribution to her stress. It was…
“I manage stress that comes my way with grace and ease.”
So who exactly defines success for us? Is it magazines, television, the trade association you belong to? Is it by numbers now, how much attention or dollars you are receiving?
While social media continues to excite us with ads to gain more views, more leads, more money and higher paying clients, have we forgotten our purose for sharing. Or maybe we love the landscape sunset, the backcountry snow, the “simple life” quote and the beauty of nature. Yet still it may seem unattainable because of conditioning that has lead us to believe that we must be financially capable to enjoy those things in the real world.
What if you believed you are already succesful? What if you wrote a list of your most important goals and realized your already acheiving them?
Success may be yours, even now, if you take the empowered position of owning your life. When you adopt the mindset of owning your life, no one defines success for you… unless you let them.
The first step to owning your life is to make the decision to do so, then, repeat it daily. Use a mantra or a sticky note to affirm and remind yourself that you own you, and no one else (that way you dont hand your power over to others).
The second step to owning your life is monitoring thoughts to maintain control over your reactions. If you own you, then you must also regulate you. In buddhism this is called being with virtue.
Here are some of the ways we can respond to life stresses.
Stop and Breathe.
Notice the voice of the carnal, fight or flight mind vs voice of the heart and the higher intellectual capacity.
Ask yourself, what action will be most effective in this situation?
Notice you are not in real danger. Unless of course you are in which case remove yourself from danger.
Be in in a curious joyfulness exploration. When you stop judging yourself and others you have the option of becoming more curious. If you take the mindset of an explorer, life becomes more of a discovery rather than a bitter pursuit.
Or… ignore this as fluff until you are so stressed out that you are forced to finally be centered.
Check out my blog on Centering Our Lives for 11 ways of self-care.
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Olivia Perez Biera